Born To Be Miserable

Thursday, June 21, 2012

"Weirdness and Weight Loss" by Kimberly Koerber-Bauer-Koerber

Today, I received an email which is from an article writing serv ice.  They have guidelines, listed below.
Hi Kimberly Koerber.
This is Alison Smith from Articlebat.
Thank you for sending your CV for a copywriter vacancy.
Please be advised that an applicant should do 3 articles a day (each article circa 500 - 700 words).
We need a high quality of work and are interested in a long-term partnership.
Your monthly salary will be $2500, provided that you follow all instructions and do everything properly.
First of all, we would like to make certain of your skills and ask you to do a pilot job, i.e. an article with a special key-phrases (it is sort of trial, test of the pen).
The key phrases are:
1) how lose weight fast
2) how to lose weight fast and easy
3) how to lose weight fast and healthy

About key phrases: you have got 3 key phrases per each article and you ought to use each phrase 1-2 times.
One of key phrases should be mentioned in the first sentence of your article.
Sharp warning: the key-phrase is indecomposable, you can not use fragments of key-phrase.
Once again: key-phrase is indivisible.
About description: after your article is accomplished you have to provide its description.
Description should be no more than 160 characters.
It is like a very short conspectus, synopsis, the gist of the article.
Don't forget that description must look engaging, winning and attractive to reader.
Your content should be 90% original. NO plagiary please.
Take a look at our Groupon Boston article as an example:
You must complete test within 24 hours.
Please keep in mind that your articles should be captivating and moving enough and must encourage readers to share them through their social circles like FaceBook, Google+ and others.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
Alison Smith, project manager.
Phone: (315) 636-6676


The article they want is below.  We shall see if this a a valid thing or not - more will be revealed....


Not Another Article About Weight Loss!

If you are looking for a way how lose weight fast and healthy try natural methods first like drinking more water to flush fat and toxins out of your bodily system.  Then, after that fails (because it seems like it is not working), you can look at how lose weight fast by jogging in the heat in North Carolina but you have to wait until your skin is wet with sweat to start.  After you end up short of breath and someone calls the ambulance after you pass out thanks to heat stroke, think about how to lose weight fast and easy while you are lying in the back of the ambulance meditating about why you ended up there to begin with. 

How many inches?
Meditating about this subject might help, if you are still able to think and pray.  How lose weight fast put me in the hospital” might be the next thing you think about while enjoying a ride, flat on your back.  The hospital is a great place for sick people to get healthy, and many doctors and nurses work there.  If you ask one or more of the people who work in the hospital how to lose weight fast and easy, you will get a variety of answers.  It might make a boring day more interesting, but some of the hospital staff are fat – so what good is talking to them, one might think.  This is a case of being educated and not using one’s own advice, which often happens.  After all of this, the concluding sentence to the question of How to lose weight fast and easy” is that there is no really fast, easy way to lose a lot of weight unless the person gets involved with not eating for days, weeks, and keeps drinking water and other fluids, so as not to wither away totally, or has organs removed from their body including blood, to weight a great deal less immediately.  This is absurd, but people have done all kinds of strange things in an effort to lose weight including getting colostomies, using dangerous drugs, dangerous laxatives, and other weird methods because they do not value the ‘person’ they are and are obsessed with wanting to look a certain way to have value.  People who are interested in losing weight really, really fast to qualify for something do not realize that the thing may not be worth it after all. 

Did we meet out weight loss goals YET???
I have heard of people in the acting, theatre, or modeling  areas who needed to lose weight quickly to be selected for a certain theatrical role or part become bizarre – because they are involved in the ‘looking good and pretending business’ but not necessarily the business of ‘common sense’, ‘logic’, or ‘reason’.   Alcoholics, particularly alcoholics in recovery from alcoholism will tell you that ‘while drunk’ and disordered this or that occurred which affected them later and which they felt sorry about or sad about after the fact.  In certain cases – it was too late.   Weight loss takes a long time and is really a problem for people who are obsessed with weight loss alone.  Probably more important is the process of change, or going through other internal or ‘thinking’ changes.    The third, fourth, and fifth steps of Alcoholics Anonymous seems to be helpful in other areas to help people change and deal with outcomes……..

………and to break negative thinking patterns.

Alcoholics Anonymous, a program with twelve steps, seems to be assistive in other areas, also.  The third step of Alcoholics Anonymous is to “Turn Your Will And Life Over To The Care of God As You Understand Him”.   The fourth step is to “Do A Fearless And Searching Moral Inventory Of Yourself”, and the Fifth Step is to “Discuss the finding of Step Four with a Trusted Friend or Sponsor”.  The Program works because as the person makes mistakes and is forgiven by him or herself and is given the ear or understanding of a friend or AA sponsor, he or she grows.  To grow, you have to make mistakes and not be obsessed over something like “Losing weight fast” which could end your life.  Life is precious and valuable.


A tale of “weight loss” and obsession, change, and becoming better through past mistakes.

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"I have been a member of the Episcopal Church all of my life"

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Hello! I am a Social Worker (since 1990) and a writer. I am seeking writing jobs, funding for my Writing business called "the Indigo Drum" and a way to run an office again, plus a car.