Born To Be Miserable

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

All About Maggie by Kimberly Koerber-Bauer-Koerber

A cute brown puppy "hiding" and moving a toy.
                     "A Classic Brown Dog Story"

Maggie is brown, Maggie is large, and Maggie has beautiful brown eyes. She is an example of a large big good girl. Maggie is a large brown Labrador retriever, a female, with a wagging tail and a quiet, steady disposition. She is cute and furry but protective and intelligent at the same time. Maggie likes to eat and likes “people food”. She likes to open the “dog door” at home and let herself out. She also opens the refrigerator door and can feed herself if hungry. If not fed, as a ‘trick”, and if food is within her reach. Last night Maggie had baked chicken and steamed vegetables, in about five bites. Maggie also likes to go for walks with her dad, he on a bicycle, holding the leash, she running along side him. Maggie, a dog (not a human being who would object to being guided along on a leash) loves being guided and loves fresh air and exercise. Maggie is a dog that heals in her own way, but the person has to participate also, because Maggie is part of a breed – Labrador Retrievers, known to be highly intelligent and very, very versatile. The only child in Maggie’s family, Mark, a 10 year old boy is always sad. Mark could never get to school on time. Mark never has his homework done, or it is done with pencil smudging and eraser marks, and he is chronically late for class due to being avoidant. Mark would prefer not to be in school these days, but has to be there anyhow. He did not know why his parents fought all of the time, before his dad left or why he could not bring friends home with out his mother , who was a mean shrew embarrassing them, but that was Mark’s life. Mark cried, was avoidant, and was not able to focus on what his assignments were, and kept eating more and more and grew very large and fat. His alcoholic Mother, who had no friends herself, was not concerned about Mark at all other than to harass him about being fat. Mark knew why his dad left but was stuck there himself. His dad dropped off Maggie, who had visitation rights with the family one day, and rode off on his bicycle. Maggie, in her soft brown fur coat, sat there intently, looked at Mark, and listened to what Mark said intently, while cocking her head to one side. Mark knew that Maggie understood him, and was more that just a dog. Rain, rains go away. Why it is supposed to rain all day and night, Maggie, Mark said. Nonetheless, Mark went to bed, and slept soundly, When He woke up the next morning, it was still raining when the alarm clock went off. Mark walked sadly and slowly to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal, and his mother was still in b3d and would not get out of bed, no matter what. The curtains in her room were drawn, the room was dark, and “ah-choo”, “ah-choo”, “ah-choo”, was the response as Mark backed out of his mother’s dusty room. Smelly clothes, dust, and plain old grime were the decorations in her room, and the room smelled worse and worse every day, for some reason. Marks’ mother gained an enormous amount of weight over time and she, at about 5’2” tall weighed 413 pounds and could not at times pull herself out of bed for long other than to find a way to go to the kitchen to eat or to find a way to go to the local carry out to buy beer. Mark thought about the situation, and knew that if he stayed home, he would get in trouble, so he walked through the living room padded down the hall and started to go into his bedroom when Maggie went wild. For some reason, Maggie started circling around, chasing her tail, and then jumped up on Mark knocking him down and penning him to the ground. Maggie had her front paws on Marks shoulders with him underneath her. She looked at him and he looked at her. Mark was large and weak and Maggie the dog was large and strong, so Mark got stuck, and Maggie started drooling on Mark. “Yuck! Maggie – get off of me!”, but Maggie would not listen. By the time that Maggie moved, forty five minutes had passed and it was too late to go to school.

I too, am waiting for my next assignment.

The rain came down incessantly outside. It was grey and dark at 8:15 am and the rain ran down the downspout and off of the edge of the roof. Mark had gotten to a point where he learned to stop crying a long time ago, and was instead way too serious and generally depressed. The weather matched his mood which was the same that day as many other days. Mark sighed a deep sigh, and slowly walked with his head hanging down to his neat, well lighted room to lie down on top of the bedspread. He started thinking and thought that he thought way too much about little things and about what to do next – as if everything were a great effort instead of flowing easily. In this mood for about three minutes, stuck, Maggie ambled back into the area. Mark looked at her with something in her mouth and thought “OH No!’ but his fear turned out to be unfounded because the OH No was only his spiral bound notebook, with a pen stuck in the metal spiral. Maggie gingerly and very carefully placed the notebook beside Mark on his bed. As smart as Maggie is, being part of a dysfunctional family and all in addition, she can only do “Dog things” and is not a person. Maggie can’t write. Maggie can’t read, Maggie can’t be Mark’s parent, but Maggie wanted Mark to write that morning, and it was obvious. Yet Mark tried to ignore this.

Another "Classic Brown Dog" patiently

Mark got up and tired to leave his room and Maggie started gently growling a low growl. Then she started chewing the old ‘cot’ mattress, or Mark’s bed. Mark then though “You know, maybe Maggie has a point.”, and started writing, and writing, and writing. He wrote about how his mother’s behaviors affected himself. He wrote about how helpless he felt, and he wrote about wanting to run away a lot but not having the courage. If Mark had not fed Maggie, or taught her to eat, he thought she would have starved. Maggie really is my friend, he thought. This type of thing is called a ‘reciprocal’ relationship. Maggie helped Mark to start talking to others instead of being so sad and withdrawn, because as he wrote, he saw how he felt, and this was an important first step.

Although Maggie is not a trained guide dog, she could be in a new category of animals that comfort and heal children and many others. A new kind of guide dog for this era.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Crooks and Codependency : The "Hi Miss Kentucky" Story

Crooks want people to be codependent - to be afraid of them - and to continue to ruin a person's life - if possible. Crooks want me continue to be fixated on their abuse.  The predominant diagnosis given in regard to people like this would probably be something like  "Antisocial Narcissistic Personality Disorder", with cojoint features like various addiction issues.  These personality traits are positively associated with criminal activity, and in Ohio, hate crime.  See link:

Crooks decided that my Social work degree was supposed to be used by them, because I wanted to get a law degree.  The point was to block me in, ignore any complaint I filed through the governmental system here in Columbus, Ohio, call me a whore, mentally ill, deny me Civil or Human Rights, and continue the abuse in an effort to attempt to bully me out of the intelligence mode that they knew I have been in for the last 15 years with out any appointment, or money.  Crooks were trying to enable and legalize sex with minors because again, some 'important person" probably with personality characteristics that could be similar to those described above, wanted this.  Oh well.  I graduated from Ohio State University in 1990 with a Social Work degree while married, so crooks 'wanted this' also to ruin my life.  Crooks could not ignore me easily, unless they chose to on purpose or this was part of massive corruption that swept the state.  Many, many others have written about this topic, and to me this is boring at this time.  I would rather focus my mental energies elsewhere.  I got 'stuck' with crooks out of spite. 

There is a man who cheerfully greets me, when I see him in this way:  "Hi Miss Kentucky!"  I look at this man, laugh, and have told him many times, that I was never Miss Kentucky, but still he persists with this.  The joke is that crooks did not want me to compete, win, or even place.  This has been apparent for years.  I was never in any beauty pageant, because of harassment by a Nazi cult, but - the cult then caused all kinds of Federal shutdowns, including the money for the police id that I was in being robbed also.  Crooks in "Wooster, rat hole" were actually selling police ids which have to do with shutting down the intelligence system.  Many people heard this in this auditory mode.  Crooks have caused nothing but pain and abuse in my and other peoples lives for many years thanks to hate group activity and hate crime taking off in states like Ohio with no stopper, like local agencies doing what they were supposed to. 

I still "could be' various things, if I am able to run away successfully and get adequate support from elsewhere.   We encountered people who were so desperate to leave Ohio after the last strike or Federal shutdown occurred that they walked to other states, taking many months so to do.

The development program that caused things like this works like this:  Crooks use an accountant or accountants to shelter police and other government income, to create a large "Whig" or a better lifestyle.  An example of a "Whig" that burned up a lot of money and did little good is The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  The website and the comcept are wonderful.  The event is held here in Columbus ohio, but The Columbus Dispatch keeps reporting that the event costs 2.2 million dollars but raises no money.  Participants are issued pink wigs or 'whigs'. The wigs look like clown wigs, and may be correlated with the quilt message that appears on a quilt in the basement of the Dorothy Day House with different female clown faces  that are sad.  This could correlate with the "Emmett Kelly concept" but for women - a sad clown.  The Emmett Kelly story and link are on my facebook page.  Emmett Kelly was a Barnum and Baily circus clown, who got involved in being a "witness" in crime - another siutaion involving crime and crooks.  Without adequate protection, we are all doomed to be 'sad clowns' - male and female.  Currently, NPR has a song of the day (today being December 20, 2010 entitled "The Death of a Clown".  I would rather not be a dead clown,. but would rather be happy, joyous and free and have a life. 

Narcistic personality diordered types are self serving, and should never go into public office.  Maybe the problem has to do with things like this causing a large imbalance and too many GOP types, or "elephants" as opposed to "The rest of us". 

More news about Ohio corruption:

The below letter was sent today to the Council on Women and Girls in Government Service via email:

Hello! I have been in this police voice mode for 15 years, and am a victim of crime and corruption due to the Administration of Ohio. They ruined my life! As opposed to putting me in an urban development role or police role or management role as they were supposed to with pay, they wanted to continue to trap me, with no salary, to continue to degrade the local economy, and call me a 'whore' and other names. This occurred during the Strickland administration, which is currently outgoing. Since I was a victim of fraud, I was not eligible for any other employment either. Crooks in Ohio continue to enable this fraud, and this is why I, who have been in the police for years, am interested in relocating to another state which is cleaner. This entrapment situation to enable terrorism and fraud never went to court in Ohio.


Kimberly! :)


Episcopal/Anglican Church Shield in blue

Episcopal/Anglican Church Shield in blue
"I have been a member of the Episcopal Church all of my life"

About Me

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Hello! I am a Social Worker (since 1990) and a writer. I am seeking writing jobs, funding for my Writing business called "the Indigo Drum" and a way to run an office again, plus a car.