Born To Be Miserable

Friday, May 6, 2011

Exerpts from "The Malachi House II" Newsletter: May 3, 2011

A Pathway to Happiness and better well being for
a certain population - Treatment based -
is Malachi House II.

The skill here is in learning to ask tough questions and to give honest answers.  It's about asking yourself hard questions- about your strengths and weaknesses, for example, or about the role you play in your own problems - and giving yourself honest answers.  when going through hard times, the questions you choose to ask yourself are key  to how what you will focus on and how you will handle the storm.

What is your view of people and of the world?  What is your view of the future?
Research into children and adults who flourished despite adversity shows the following.  Relationships begin in childhood with contacting - making fleeting ties with others who are emotionally available.  In adolescents, relationships sharpen into recruiting  the deliberate attempt to engage with adults and peers who are helpful and supportive.  In adults, relationships mature in attaching - mutually gratifying personal ties that are characterized by a balance of give and take.

Research has shown that adults who emerged in healthy ways from distressing childhoods practiced independence as defined in the following way:  they distanced themselves emotionally and physically from the sources of trouble in their life.  Independence begins in children with straying - wondering away when trouble is in the air.  In adolescents independence grows into emotional disengagement - detaching from troublesome situations and standing up for oneself.  In adults, independence takes form in separating - taking control over the power of one's pain.


Initiative is the ability to take charge of problems, instead of being overwhelmed by them.  You must learn that if you are ever going to live long and with significance in this world, you are going to have to accept and embrace adversity as a challenge and opportunity, rather than something to be overwhelmed by.  The bigger dreams and goals you have, the more adversity you can expect. 


Creativity is using the imagination in a way that, once again, helps you mobilize your resources and navigate tough situations in life.  Creativity and humor are related resiliencies.  One of the most helpful tools to tapping creativity during tough times is a workbook called The Artists Way Workbook, by Julia Cameron.  It encourages the practice of freehand journaling every morning in order to tap into your inner resources.  Other helpful forms of creativity may include drawing, listening to music, painting, walking in nature, and meditation.  I have found that I am most creative internally when I am running out in open nature all alone.


Humor is an offshoot of creativity.  Learn not to take yourself or life too seriously!  Learn to cultivate your sense of humor, because when you do, it will help you in the midst of difficulty, shape your reality by offsetting pain, and help you laugh in the face of the absurdity of your pains and troubles.  By no means do I mean that you should minimize or pretend that your troubles don't exist.  However, being able to find humor in every situation will help you cope more effectively.  Learn to enjoy funny books or movies.  Laugh often. 

Morality and Values 

This means you have identified your core personal Values, and that you are living and acting on the basis of an informed conscience.  It means that you have developed a philosophy of living and a moral framework and principles for behaving and decision making.  Ultimately, these values and principles will serve as roots that will give you nourishment when the storms of adversity pound against you.  In the most responsible and developed stage of morality and values, we have an obligation to use our gifts and talents to serve others, even in the midst of suffering and pain.  I cite some examples here:  Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  These are only a few examples of persons who tapped into morality and spirituality in the midst of adversity.

I hope that you will use these advanced life skills to successfully navigate the ups and downs of life, both in the seemingly small, and the very big.  Let me know if you have used any of these skills, whether you are using any now, and which ones you would like to develop for the future."

Post Script:
Malachi House also treats Gangsters and Gangster types.

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Episcopal/Anglican Church Shield in blue
"I have been a member of the Episcopal Church all of my life"

About Me

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Hello! I am a Social Worker (since 1990) and a writer. I am seeking writing jobs, funding for my Writing business called "the Indigo Drum" and a way to run an office again, plus a car.